Sexist Jokes Thread

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Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Dominik on Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:37 pm

Surprise surprise!

Why do women get married in white?
So they match the kitchen appliances!


How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them.


What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.


Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Eldorino on Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:47 pm

Oh my God Dominik, still creating polemic topics Razz?!

Sorry, I don't know jokes in this category... Maybe one in French, though.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by RaileighMouse on Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:27 pm

Why is pee yellow and sperm white?? So men know wether there coming or goin!

How do you stop a man breaking in your house?? Replace the locks with bra fastners.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Slaughter on Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:49 pm

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.


Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock on the stove.


What did God say when he created Adam?
"I can do better than this."


How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Kyoto Tokugawa on Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:58 pm

lolz this isn't as bad as racist one. nice job
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Dominik on Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:05 am

Yeah, I think it's because there are only 2 sexes (as opposed to many races) it is much easier to balance the hate.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Eldorino on Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:17 am

Oh, I know, I found how to tell one (but I still heard it in French, so it might be not so good... well, we'll see Razz!)!!!! But it's only one, so I can't balance it Sad...


Do you know why they chose a women for the Liberty Statue, in New York?
Because they needed place in the head to make a restaurant.


Oh my God, I just realized I'm not even sure of how is called the Statue de la Liberté in English Razz!!!!!

Starts running with a traumatized face...
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Smiling Wolf on Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:40 am

Mary says that 1+2 is 5. Why is she wrong?

Spoiler:
Because she's a woman.

A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari apperared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Kyoto Tokugawa on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:01 am

lolz
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Slaughter on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:04 am

Eldorino wrote:Oh, I know, I found how to tell one (but I still heard it in French, so it might be not so good... well, we'll see Razz!)!!!! But it's only one, so I can't balance it Sad...


Do you know why they chose a women for the Liberty Statue, in New York?
Because they needed place in the head to make a restaurant.


Oh my God, I just realized I'm not even sure of how is called the Statue de la Liberté in English Razz!!!!!

Starts running with a traumatized face...

We call it (I'm American, I knows this) The Statue of Liberty.

And nice one, man Wink
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Kyoto Tokugawa on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:06 am

I am the bestest at grammars.
I sprekansi de english very goodly!
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Eldorino on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:21 am

Mr. Slaughter wrote:
Eldorino wrote:Oh, I know, I found how to tell one (but I still heard it in French, so it might be not so good... well, we'll see Razz!)!!!! But it's only one, so I can't balance it Sad...


Do you know why they chose a women for the Liberty Statue, in New York?
Because they needed place in the head to make a restaurant.


Oh my God, I just realized I'm not even sure of how is called the Statue de la Liberté in English Razz!!!!!

Starts running with a traumatized face...

We call it (I'm American, I knows this) The Statue of Liberty.

And nice one, man Wink

lol thanks alot Smile!!!!!
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by jbdivinus on Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:00 am

lol great thread.

why did the woman cross the road?
the real question is, what was she doing out of the kitchen.. Razz

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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Hanu Anand on Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:24 am

?? Shocked
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by frankypicoto on Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:31 am

WTF???!!!!!! Really....sexist jokes are the most fucking stupid thing after racist jokes :O seriously Dom grow up!
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Cesar Augustus on Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:44 am

I am recieving complaints please refrain from posting in here or I will be forced to lock it
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Dominik on Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:30 pm

Cesar Augustus wrote:I am recieving complaints please refrain from posting in here or I will be forced to lock it


No you're not. You've received one post about it possibly being slightly offensive, compared to several posts in support of the thread. If this censorship continues, I am boycotting the forums (and I'll do it- I did it with IRC).
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by christian.doe on Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:47 pm

Dominik wrote:If this censorship continues, I am boycotting the forums (and I'll do it- I did it with IRC).
How old are you? Eleven?
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Dominik on Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:53 pm

Hey, I've busted my ass for this country, donated thousands of dollars, then I come back and get no goddamn respect! Worse! Even my basic rights are denied!
*eHangs himself*
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Cesar Augustus on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:03 pm

Um Dominik.. I have recieved multiple complaints over IRC.. and I am not saying you didn't work hard for ecanada. Your basic rights you have this is overstepping them and it is becoming offensive.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Cesar Augustus on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:04 pm

Also I am not quite sure why are moderator if you do not reside in Canada correct me if I am wrong.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Dominik on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:08 pm

Why I am moderator? Because I'm not, and you couldn't be bothered to remove it from my profile, apparently.

Also, I find the Word Association thread offensive, please remove it as well. Surely I am entitled to have it removed as well.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by christian.doe on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:11 pm

Dominik wrote:Also, I find the Word Association thread offensive, please remove it as well. Surely I am entitled to have it removed as well.
Actually, you have my complete support there. Smile I never understood why every single forum has a thread like that.
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Hanu Anand on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:20 pm

Dominink respect Ceasar ok?
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Re: Sexist Jokes Thread

Post by Dominik on Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:34 pm

Hanu Anand wrote:Dominink respect Ceasar ok?

No. Cesar is an inarticulate moron that holds his position illegally (nobody except his close friend Wilkmot ever approved his appointment as administrator). I call 'em like I see 'em.
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