Sexist Jokes Thread

[Dominik]

Surprise surprise!

Why do women get married in white?
So they match the kitchen appliances!


How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them.


What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.


Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.

[Eldorino]

Oh my God Dominik, still creating polemic topics ?!

Sorry, I don't know jokes in this category... Maybe one in French, though.

[RaileighMouse]

Why is pee yellow and sperm white?? So men know wether there coming or goin!

How do you stop a man breaking in your house?? Replace the locks with bra fastners.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

[Mr. Slaughter]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.


Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock on the stove.


What did God say when he created Adam?
"I can do better than this."


How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

[Kyoto Tokugawa]

lolz this isn't as bad as racist one. nice job

[Dominik]

Yeah, I think it's because there are only 2 sexes (as opposed to many races) it is much easier to balance the hate.

[Eldorino]

Oh, I know, I found how to tell one (but I still heard it in French, so it might be not so good... well, we'll see !)!!!! But it's only one, so I can't balance it ...


Do you know why they chose a women for the Liberty Statue, in New York?
Because they needed place in the head to make a restaurant.


Oh my God, I just realized I'm not even sure of how is called the Statue de la Liberté in English !!!!!

Starts running with a traumatized face...

[Smiling Wolf]

Mary says that 1+2 is 5. Why is she wrong?

Spoiler:

A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari apperared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.

[Kyoto Tokugawa]

lolz

[Mr. Slaughter]

Oh, I know, I found how to tell one (but I still heard it in French, so it might be not so good... well, we'll see !)!!!! But it's only one, so I can't balance it ...


Do you know why they chose a women for the Liberty Statue, in New York?
Because they needed place in the head to make a restaurant.


Oh my God, I just realized I'm not even sure of how is called the Statue de la Liberté in English !!!!!

Starts running with a traumatized face...

We call it (I'm American, I knows this) The Statue of Liberty.

And nice one, man

[Kyoto Tokugawa]

I am the bestest at grammars.
I sprekansi de english very goodly!

[Eldorino]

Oh, I know, I found how to tell one (but I still heard it in French, so it might be not so good... well, we'll see !)!!!! But it's only one, so I can't balance it ...


Do you know why they chose a women for the Liberty Statue, in New York?
Because they needed place in the head to make a restaurant.


Oh my God, I just realized I'm not even sure of how is called the Statue de la Liberté in English !!!!!

Starts running with a traumatized face...

We call it (I'm American, I knows this) The Statue of Liberty.

And nice one, man

lol thanks alot !!!!!

[jbdivinus]

lol great thread.

why did the woman cross the road?
the real question is, what was she doing out of the kitchen..

[Hanu Anand]

??

[frankypicoto]

WTF???!!!!!! Really....sexist jokes are the most fucking stupid thing after racist jokes :O seriously Dom grow up!

[Cesar Augustus]

I am recieving complaints please refrain from posting in here or I will be forced to lock it

[Dominik]

I am recieving complaints please refrain from posting in here or I will be forced to lock it

No you're not. You've received one post about it possibly being slightly offensive, compared to several posts in support of the thread. If this censorship continues, I am boycotting the forums (and I'll do it- I did it with IRC).

[christian.doe]

If this censorship continues, I am boycotting the forums (and I'll do it- I did it with IRC).

How old are you? Eleven?

[Dominik]

Hey, I've busted my ass for this country, donated thousands of dollars, then I come back and get no goddamn respect! Worse! Even my basic rights are denied!
*eHangs himself*

[Cesar Augustus]

Um Dominik.. I have recieved multiple complaints over IRC.. and I am not saying you didn't work hard for ecanada. Your basic rights you have this is overstepping them and it is becoming offensive.

[Cesar Augustus]

Also I am not quite sure why are moderator if you do not reside in Canada correct me if I am wrong.

[Dominik]

Why I am moderator? Because I'm not, and you couldn't be bothered to remove it from my profile, apparently.

Also, I find the Word Association thread offensive, please remove it as well. Surely I am entitled to have it removed as well.

[christian.doe]

Also, I find the Word Association thread offensive, please remove it as well. Surely I am entitled to have it removed as well.

Actually, you have my complete support there. I never understood why every single forum has a thread like that.

[Hanu Anand]

Dominink respect Ceasar ok?

[Dominik]

Dominink respect Ceasar ok?

No. Cesar is an inarticulate moron that holds his position illegally (nobody except his close friend Wilkmot ever approved his appointment as administrator). I call 'em like I see 'em.